I’m sorry to have to tell you this. You can’t follow your daughter to college, but you don’t know who or what else might be.

That sounds ominous, I know. The world is full of scary things. But we can only take on the ones we know about. The sock monster, for example.

Here’s what I told my daughter:

You CAN outfox the sock monster. Yes, the vexing invisible varmint that lives between the washer and dryer is smart. But you are smarter.

Know the enemy. Sock monsters dine exclusively on individual servings — that’s one sock of a pair. This leaves you with one lonely sock and an annoying decision to make: whether to throw away the lone survivor or stash it in the single-sock purgatory drawer hoping for its twin to return.

 The best protection is the buddy system. Clip or pin your socks into pairs when you put them in the laundry basket. Together, your socks will evade their pesky predator and arrive from the dryer pre-sorted.

 Since you are not likely to actually do this, may I suggest buying several pairs of the same socks.

Love, Mom


When our kids learn to wrestle the little irritating, invisible monsters, they are better equipped to take on the big ones right in front of them. Once again, laundry is one big fluffy life lesson.

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do your laundry or die alone author becky blades

Becky Blades, Author of Do Your Laundry or You’ll Die Alone, and contributor to Huffington Post, Oprah.com, Scary Mommy, and Grown & Flown.